Sweet'n Up The Bedroom Ladies!

Things feeling a little dull in the bedroom lately?! Come on ladies, you're better than that. Live a little... talk dirty... switch positions... SPICE IT UP! Check out these sweet ideas to turn it up!




Who needs diamonds when you have a purrrrty candy necklace?! Turn it into a edible garter and tell him to dig in. ;)

Oh em geeeee.... I use to LOVE these thingys! Take it back with candy buttons. Peel off the dots, lick the back then stick them to all the places you want your guy to pay extra attention to. He has to eat them off your body before you switch roles.

We all know where I stand with chocolate, it's always sexy. So throw some Hershey's in the microwave for 15 seconds and get it nice and hot... you know what to do now. Rub it in between those thighs, nipples... and well, get creative.

The rest is up to you, don't let the bedroom get dull or you risk the chance of your man getting sweet with someone else.


xo,

Rissacupcake

Could you please put your panties back on?

A jump off really only has 1 job which is to have no strings attached great sex. Then the extra added bonus of being a jump off is that he gets to leave anytime after job 1 is accomplished. If you find the right person this can be a mutually beneficial situation and I thought that I had that. Clearly I was wrong.

So my "jump off" comes over the other night and I was expecting our usual type of evening. We are all over each other before he makes it in the door and it seems as though everything is going as usual. We finally make it to the couch and as we are starting to rip off our clothes this happens:

Him: "Baby I don't know."

Me: "I'm confused, what don't you know?"

Him: "Can you please put your panties back on?"

Me: Speechless...

Him: "Can we just lay here and watch that movie?"

Me: Still speechless...

So my "jump off" wants to lay down and watch a movie with no sex involved, what the hell is happening? I mean, this man has the easiest job in the world and somehow he still finds away to screw it up. Really?! I can't with all of this! Get out and only come back when you have learned how to play your position. I don't have the time or energy to begin to pretend that this is something that it's not. #epicfail

Xoxo, Samantha

Just like a kid in a candy store

Any time you walk into a sex store it's an adventure. I am just like a kid at Toys R Us; so overwhelmed by all the options I never know what I want (or I want it all). Unsure of what to get I came across the iBuzz Two. This is any music lovers dream come true.

The bullet plugs into your iPod and vibrates to the beat of the song and the louder you turn the music up the more intense the vibration. This lets you just lay back and very literally feel the beat. Ohhhhhlala...

So here are a few songs I thought about adding to my iBuzz playlist...

The Notoriuos B.I.G.- Fucking you tonight

Ginuwine - So Anxious

Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye

Xoxo, Samantha

Ugh.

Jumpoffs > Trying to hold a relationship.


That is all. Bye.

xoxo,
Samantha

You just turned me off...

Fellas listen up...

This that and the other happened and then we end up in bed together. He was just about to get lucky and then he does the unthinkable. He tries to get down without a condom. Really?! Are you fucking kidding me? Who even does that shit anymore?

I mean really guys, the first time we go to get down and you want to hit it raw, I definitely have to say... Ummmm noooooo. The most unattractive thing that a man can do is try to get down without a condom. Great that you trust me like that but I damn sure don't trust you.

This type of behavior can only lead me to assume that you are more than willing to stick it in anything, anytime, without a condom and that is disgusting. I am not willing to jeopardize my body for what may or may not be a pleasurable experience.

And fellas trust, every one of my girls I called to tell them this story all had the same response: "That's so fucking gross!"

So please fellas, keep a condom in your wallet or by your bed or wherever just in case you get lucky. Because I swear to G any respectable woman is going to have you strap one on. If she doesn't then run, immediately, because that chick is tainted with who knows what.

I'm just sayin... Sex without a condom is a privilege you earn, period.

xoxo,
Samantha

Bhahahahahahaha

Listen up because this is so damn true...... This shit had me rollin.......... It's an oldie but a goodie.....

Don't Believe The Hype!

Oh men! Between us faking orgasms, telling you you're the "best we ever had", and "no one hits it like you".... you muther fuckers are clueless. Ready for the inside scoop??

Every girl has a man that you will never come close to. You will never "hit it" like him, kiss like him, smell like him, walk like him, or even dress like him for that matter. When we tell you "no one fucks me like you do"... 9 times outta 10- we're lying. Simply amping up the sex at the moment to enhance the orgasm, or lack there of. That's another thing I'll get to in a minute. So what if you are THAT man? You'll never know because we make every one of you think you are the illest thing out. Ha! Don't believe the hype!

So back to the orgasm ... Um, we don't always cum like you think we do. Sorry boys, but you have to work to make us cum every time. And by that I don't mean fucking our brains out until we can't walk the next day. Half the time, that's why we fake the orgasm, to stop you guys from breaking our vaginas. Relax. Light some candles. Turn off the fuckin TV! Turn up the Marvin Gaye!

So the moral to the story... you have to try a little harder to be THAT dude.

Got Sex?

Wowwwwwww………. This is amazing!

Fans of abstinence had better be sitting down. "Saving yourself" may indeed confer some moral benefit but corporeally it does absolutely zip. There's no evidence it sharpens your competitive edge. The best that modern science can say for sexual abstinence is that it's harmless when practiced in moderation. Having regular and enthusiastic sex, by contrast, confers a host of measurable physiological advantages, be you male or female.

Need to lose weight, just have sex
Sex, if nothing else, is exercise. A vigorous bout burns some 200 calories--about the same as running 15 minutes on a treadmill. The pulse rate, in a person aroused, rises from about 70 beats per minute to 150, the same as that of an athlete putting forth maximum effort.

I don’t need an aspirin; I need to have sex, orgasms included
Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level. This in turn releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headache to arthritis to even migraine.

Echinacea pleeeeease….. I just have sex
Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections.

Abstinence is unhealthy, really!
Women who abstain from sex run some risks. In postmenopausal women, these include vaginal atrophy. Dr. Winch has a middle-aged patient of whom he says: "She hasn't had intercourse in three years. Just isn't interested. The opening of her vagina is narrowing from disuse. It's a condition that can lead to dysparenia, or pain associated with intercourse. I told her, 'Look, you'd better buy a vibrator or you're going to lose function there.'"

Swallow baby….. Sperm is actually healthy for you…. Sorry Ladies but facts are facts!
Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium and other minerals shown to retard tooth decay. Suffice it to say that it could be a far richer, more complex and more satisfying experience than squeezing a tube of Crest-even Tartar Control Crest.

Depressed? Stop using condoms
Sexually active participants whose male partners did not use condoms were less subject to depression than those whose partners did. Prostaglandin, a hormone found only in semen, may be absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones.
*I would like to note, that I am a huge fan of condoms and I don’t recommend anyone not using one unless they are on birth control and know that their partner has no diseases. Don’t be stupid here people!*