Could you please put your panties back on?

A jump off really only has 1 job which is to have no strings attached great sex. Then the extra added bonus of being a jump off is that he gets to leave anytime after job 1 is accomplished. If you find the right person this can be a mutually beneficial situation and I thought that I had that. Clearly I was wrong.

So my "jump off" comes over the other night and I was expecting our usual type of evening. We are all over each other before he makes it in the door and it seems as though everything is going as usual. We finally make it to the couch and as we are starting to rip off our clothes this happens:

Him: "Baby I don't know."

Me: "I'm confused, what don't you know?"

Him: "Can you please put your panties back on?"

Me: Speechless...

Him: "Can we just lay here and watch that movie?"

Me: Still speechless...

So my "jump off" wants to lay down and watch a movie with no sex involved, what the hell is happening? I mean, this man has the easiest job in the world and somehow he still finds away to screw it up. Really?! I can't with all of this! Get out and only come back when you have learned how to play your position. I don't have the time or energy to begin to pretend that this is something that it's not. #epicfail

Xoxo, Samantha

Nike Sweet Classic High Textile Pack!

Adorable!!! Boys: These are guaranteed make-out session sneakers! Haaaaa!

My Baby's Got the Ace!

My friend dropped some knowledge on me and I'm going to bless you with his words of wisdom... Ladies pay close attention!

Is it time or attention that you want?

When I was first asked this, I replied, "Not sure what the difference is but I want both!" My homie laughed at me and then broke it down. So here's the scene...

I'm having a low key party at the house and my baby walks in the door. I'm playing a game of spades and he sits down next to me, kisses me and then...

What happens next will be the deciding factor on whether you want TIME or ATTENTION...

Scenario 1: He continues to enjoy the party and occasionally comes back to see how am I doing but doesn't overwhelm me with his presence. This is him giving me TIME.

Scenario 2: He stays right next to me the whole time and looks at my cards and says out loud, "My baby's got the Ace! Play that Ace baby. You got this!" This is him giving me ATTENTION.

I would have to smack you in the face, regularly, if this is the definition of attention. Attention is him smothering you and time is him showing face but not hovering over you all night. You choose what you can handle but I know I need time... Try to give me attention and that's a wrap!

Restless Randomness

So, at the climax of my RLS (restless leg syndrome), which I have personally diagnosed myself with, due to the fact I can't effin sit still EVER, I have decided to write a blog to keep me company during my restless, sleepless nights. In turn, keeping you company while at work, on the train, or 5 am fighting sleep.

I'm was hoping to keep it G rated, however my life is so far from G rated that this will never work. I figure I'll just write about my random life and you'll just love it. Music tends to F me everytime I hear it, and if the shit's good, it results in climax. I have a feeling I'll be posting all my jammy jams being that I always kiss and tell when it's good.

I work in the fashion world, and my style is somewhat eccentric and at times scares my friends. So naturally fashion will be a huge part of this randomness. I rock sneakers with dresses, and randomly think leopard, bright pink, and silver leggings are ok. You will learn to enjoy this, and probably end up wanting to know where you can cop your very own pair.

Boys and liquor are always included in this random ridiculous. So Sex and the City won't have shit on my blog. I promise you this. Pretty boys and flashy sneakers with a shot of Patron!!


Let's get it in.